Once upon a time, there was a princess locked in a tower, guarded by an obnoxiously attractive dragon with a superiority complex. Her crime, you may ask?A single, topless, crowd-surfing incident. Which was photographed, published by multiple news outlets, and "jeopardized" her father's high profile election campaign. Faced with the threat of being cut off-and forced to rely on her non-existent life skills-the princess had little choice but to accept her punishment: house arrest at the family estate for the duration of the campaign. A campaign which will last eight. Freaking. Months. As if all this wasn't terrible enough, the princess's only company-the dragon-was even more unpleasant than the punishment itself. He hated her at first sight; most likely for the crime of being pretty, and rich, and way better than him at literally everything. Mean, condescending, and a total turd, the dragon seemed to want nothing more than to assert his authority over the princess. She believed-quite rightly-that being insanely hot doesn't give you the right to treat people that way. It wasn't long before the princess decided her only recourse... was war.